Happy Texas Independence Day! Still smokin’ hot after 176 years. Take that Joan Rivers.
I have an unbelievable amount of Texas pride. It’s not just where I live; it’s an integral part of who I am. To insult Texas is comparable to telling me I have an ugly face (which we both know is false).
Reasons to love Texas
The Texas Rangers
Two World Series appearances in two years is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the greatness of this team. Owned by one of the greatest pitchers to ever play the game, Nolan Ryan, they are always a constant source of home run hitters and bootylicious cabooses.
What other state has mountains AND beaches? Deserts AND forests? We have every environment to suit your fancy. If you like fancy-shmancy city life, Dallas is your city. Want a windy city full of Red Raiders? Lubbock’s your town. If you want to watch the drug wars in Mexico, then lock your car doors and go to El Paso. You love live music and dirty hippies? Get your butt to Austin! If you’re a weirdo who likes to choke on smog, well, Houston may be the city for you. Go deep-sea fishing in South Padre. Go climb some mountains in Big Bend. Stroll down the Riverwalk in San Antonio and remember the Alamo!
What recession? Get out of here with that mess! We were once a Republic, fool. We can sustain ourselves. We have more Fortune 500 companies than any other state. Plus our cost of living is pennies compared to your cheaply made, outrageously expensive mansions in Beverly Hills or your bedbugs in NYC.
Personally, I don’t like football, but that’s the beauty of Texas football. Tailgating fits every personality! Our rivalries are legendary, and we start the obsession young. Texans can tell you with 100 percent certainty where they will be every Sunday and Friday of the Fall. Sunday is for church and Friday is for some Friday Night Lights. Speaking of, “clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose?” That’s based on Texas, y’all.
Ok, yes, it’s bipolar. I’ve lived through countless days of waking up six inches of snow and wearing shorts by late afternoon. But how many states can claim to have seen a beautiful 80 degree day in the middle of February? People can call that bipolar or unstable all they want, but I call that a gift from God.
You just can’t beat Tex-Mex, and you definitely can’t duplicate it. Our beef can’t be touched, and we can even accommodate vegans and vegetarians in this state! And Mrs. Baird’s? Enough said.
We gave you Beyoncé, and don’t you forget it.
Kickin’ alien ass, y’all.
Other states have this too, but everything is better here. Except maybe Paula Deen’s because everything that woman makes is magical.
Name one place with people nicer than Texans, and I will shove my fist in your mistaken mouth.
No State Income Tax
Boom boom pow, y’all.
We invented it. Look it up.
Matthew Mcconaughey, Sandra Bullock, George Strait, Tommy Lee Jones all live here. Chace Crawford, Woody Harrelson, Kelly Clarkson, Hilary Duff, Sean Faris, Amber Heard, Jennifer Love Hewitt, The Knowles, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Jared Padalecki, Sissy Spacek, Patrick Swayze, Forest Whitaker, and Renee Zellweger… all from TEXAS.
Schlitterbahn, Six Flags, Sea World, Fiesta Texas… we have you covered.
This is an incredibly short list about why Texas is so fantastic, and it doesn’t do it justice at all. The truth is, growing up in Texas was a pure gift from God. I know what it’s like to lay on a trampoline and watch the stars for hours. I’ve walked down busy city streets and empty country roads. I’ve seen some of the greatest athletes perform in stadiums full of their admirers. I’ve cowered in terror watching Shamu leap in the air (let’s not talk about it). I’ve walked all over small towns without an ounce of worry. My heart swells with every ‘howdy, ma’am,’ and my mother still scolds me if I don’t use my ‘ma’am’s and sir’s.’ I wouldn’t change being a Texan for anything. No matter where I end up, I’ll always be a Texas girl.
“Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called “walking.”
-George W. Bush