I’m blessed with just flat-out amazing friends. They’re all so good at knowing when to lie to my face because sometimes I just need to hear that my gray hairs aren’t noticeable and that it’s OK if my clothes don’t really match at all. By the way, my clothes usually don’t match because I’m a four-year-old and am convinced that I make my own damn rules. But I digress; they’re also exponentially good at calling me out on my crap. You see, I have a selfish, entitled, bossy streak that runs a mile long. I’m used to making the decisions and if I allow someone else to make the decision then they had better choose what I wanted in the first place. It’s a twisted web. I’m honestly lucky to even have friends.
Recently, my best friend since we were five years old, inquired about this blog. To paraphrase the conversation, she simply asked if I ever got tired of all of it – doing the blog and being this person 24/7. I can’t deny that I was pretty offended at first. It’s a good thing the conversation was via text message because I would hate for anyone to have witnessed my grown-ass woman tantrum. There was some foot stomping and some huffing and puffing. I may have a pretty cry-face, but my angry-face resembles what I would imagine Harrison Ford’s ass looks like these days.
But she was right.
The truth is, I do get tired of “performing” all of the time. I adore making people laugh and writing posts that I think people will enjoy because that’s when I truly feel talented and special. But sometimes I’m not funny. Sometimes I’m boring. Sometimes I’m pissy (OK, that actually happens a lot). Sometimes I’m just tired, and nothing exciting or funny has happened in a long time.
I started this new blog to leave the old one behind and start fresh. I left the old one because I had started feel burdened by it. I felt so much pressure to make every post hilarious or, otherwise, people would stop reading. I was seeking approval from my blog stats. How sad is that?
What’s even more sad is that I switched to this new blog, and it became the same old song and dance.
I vowed that I would be completely transparent this time around and write about what my heart and mind are feeling and what pleases me rather than what I though would boost my blog stats. Now, I still love to see how many views I get in a day and such. And it’s not like I’m turning over a new leaf and becoming a new Sam or something because I still want worldwide recognition. Like Rachel Berry said: “I’m like Tinker Bell; I need applause to live.”
I’m so blessed to have had a friend call me out on the carpet and push me to be the best version of myself. Aren’t friends great like that? True friends love us not for our blog stats or careers or social status, but for our hearts and in tribute to the relationship that God has nurtured and built.
Friends are a mirror of what God is doing in each of our lives. When we are in a pit, our friends can see that. When we’ve gone a little bat-crap crazy, they can see that too. It is through their eyes that we can see the things that God wants to tell us. We can see the hurt, joy, anger, and love our actions cause simply by looking into the heart of a best friend.
Great friends are there when we need an “I love you” or a “You’re really being a brat right now.” For the record, most of my friends have to say both of those things to me daily. I guess that makes me a lovable brat.
Friendship is a topic that is talked about a lot, but rarely do we include the tough stories. The Biggity Blog will feature some of those stories. Tune in soon for some great stories from beautiful people about how friendship has impacted who they are.
This was sappy.
But they’re doing a remake of “Steel Magnolias” and I’m in a really dark, emotional place right now.